I feel dizzy as I make my way back to my room, dizzy from the pampering at the spa, at the liqueur I drank after dinner, from the sight and smell of the roses – and I admit, from the attentions of Marco. I keep telling myself that I am not looking for anything, repeating a mantra in my head “I am done with men, I do not want romance” but it is impossible to forget him. Again I dream of him, of the heady scent of the roses, of things I am sure I did not notice at the time – his hand, taking mine, is rough from gardening, his cologne has a musky undertone, his pupils are dilated. We dance again, whirling round and round, this time amongst others but heedless of them............................I awake not entirely rested, shower and go down to breakfast. Marco is not there and neither is Beppe. The young girl from reception tells us when the pony and cart is to leave for the village, and I go to fetch my paints and pad. I dress in a flowing skirt, loose blouse and take my wide brimmed. It happened the year I turned 17, my family had just moved to a small town in Texas and my sister was the only friend in the world, so I found it difficult to imagine her ever leaving, but, sadly that wasn’t the case she was headed off to college in a mere two weeks. The depression I felt was heart-breaking. Let me describe us, I was 6ft even, weighed around 200-210, but was extremely shy. My sister was a knockout standing about 5’ 8” with a sexy athletes body, until recently I would have never even thought of her in a sexual way. Anyway, I was alone in my room sulking about not having anyone to hang out with or talk to anymore, when Tana (that’s her name) gently knocked on my door.. “come in” I said “are you ok? I am getting worried” Tana said “I’m fine, I just don’t understand why you cant go to college closer to here” “I need to go where my scholarship says I have to go” “Well it sucks, you are the only friend I have since moving to this shit hole” “You will find friends, you.
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